Having a liver resection may 9th to remove a giant liver hemangioma in the caudate lobe and I’m the first surgery of the day at around 7 am. They’re removing the left side of my liver and it’s open, not lap. I have a bad reaction to the pain and from anesthesia when waking after surgeries, where I say “I want to die” repeatedly then later I don’t remember most of it, and it’s extremely embarrassing. I don’t yell but I say it and express how much pain I’m in. I hate that I do this. I’m autistic and have ptsd and maybe that’s why I react this way, I’m not sure. I’ve woken up projectile vomiting with gallbladder surgery and the nurses were very annoyed, and spoke to me like it was my fault. I’ve felt excessive worry since then, to be as quiet as possible and try not to throw up, etc.
After the bad reaction, I’m quiet and I like helping the nurses and trying to get them to laugh or asking how their day is. What else can I do? I like being independent and not using the call light often. I’ve never had major surgery so I don’t know what to expect. Any advice is appreciated
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