i'm scared of illness, of death.

I am 14. Turned 14 about a month ago.
At night, i have trouble going to sleep because the feeling of having organs, of being so fragile makes me sick. I cannot sleep knowing that everything i know and love could be gone in just a couple seconds. This feeling gets especially strong when it's night time, as the only noise i can hear is my heartbeat.
I have recently developped the fear of having terminal cancer right now and not knowing it.
I am especially scared of testicular cancer, for obvious reasons ( i don't want to lose my balls dude)
Testicular cancer scares me because if i were to notice something unusual, i would probably hesitate telling someone, It's too akward. Now i started noticing things on my body, and hyperfocusing on them. What if the weird white pimple i have on my sack is a tumor?
I am scared of death. This is not a joke.
Sorry for bad english.

https://ift.tt/aKhS1xb Submitted August 15, 2024 at 03:28AM by MiserableShine1423 https://ift.tt/nVGCjrL