Who wants to help me create a wacky new board game? I’m calling it: Find a Specialist! It goes like this. Roll the dice and start moving your game piece! 1. Oh, no. You have painful symptoms. Pick a card to see exactly what you got.
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Move your piece to the square marked Visit Primary Care Physician with symptoms;
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Roll dice and move piece again. Oh no— you landed on Go See a Specialist ( cue the sad trombone wah wah wah )
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Pick a card from the In-Network Specialists pile. No, not the cards marked Board Certified. Half of them aren’t taking any new patients, and the other half can’t see you for 6 months.
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In pain? Spin the arrow to Google your symptoms and wait for the words Terminal, Untreatable, or Fatal to appear. Stop crying, at least you have insurance, right? Maybe you can treat this with random products from the drugstore.
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Spin the In-Network Specialist wheel. Oh— you landed on a doc that just retired. Spin again. Oh— this one is 50 miles away. Great! Hurry and email your Primary Care Physician to get a referral!
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Roll the Scheduler dice on the Calendar board. You landed on Two Weeks! Still in pain? Well, you can deal with anything for two weeks, right? Relief is in sight. You took charge of your health, way to go! Visit the Patient Portal and start filling out health history. Nobody will ever read it, but you’re following the official game rules! Nice!
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Spin the Wheel of Cancellations. Oh dear. Your appointment gets cancelled with 1 day’s notice. By voicemail, while you’re at work.
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Back to Square One! 😀
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Repeat until symptoms send you to the ER
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