Why do I view health in this way and how can I change it?
I realise this will be viewed as odd but I have always had quite a firm and I guess ‘unhealthy’ view on health. I have a thing about me being reliant on medication in order to function normally. I view health as differently from most (I think correct me if I’m wrong) and it makes accepting having a health conditions harder to accept mentally. I do have one which requires medication and in a way instead of just accepting it I feel ‘broken’. Let me try to explain
As a teenager I didn’t care much about makeup/clothes - I saw these things as very temporary, whereas health was everything to me- it basically allows you to exist. Lose the things around you and it is devastating but you will survive, lose your health and you won’t.
I would exercise at 5am everyday (only for 10 mins) and make myself eat a daily apple. I used to think that if everyone was thrown onto an island with no items/amenities - it wouldn’t be the best dressed, nicest hair or most well spoken who would survive, it would be the fittest who had less medical needs/did not rely on medication. Don’t take this the wrong way, I don’t assign value to a person based on any of the above, I am just trying to give a glimpse into my views on the importance of health and I guess the source of anxiety/overthinking.
If you see this as nonsense that’s ok and if you have read this far thankyou. So as you might be able to more easily see why a health condition makes me feel ‘broken’ and leads to a sense of disappointment when I think about it. I suppose I value being totally free and not connected to medication in order to function. As a result I don’t only feel intense dissapointment at my own health issue but also fear developing other conditions that I am now at high risk for. I would love to change this view but I don’t know how. I don’t know how others seem to easily accept health issues…
I understand this is probably seen as stupid and there are faults with it but we only have so much control over the way we see things.
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