(PS, yes, this a bit of a long post) Yes, I am an addict who, under the correct circumstances and with adequate pain relief would completely abstain from all illicit substances the moment a PM contract is signed by me. Im hardly a full time addict like you'd think I am or the context of being an addict suggests. I may use once a month if I can afford it.
The only things that have ever worked for my pain, is of course, opioids. I am on 120mg of methadone under the ideology that 'one or two sizes fits all addicts' approach of medication assisted treatment. Unfortunately, for the addict whose in immense pain and is most likely an addict due to the neglect of pain relief in healthcare. Had I been adequately treated for my pain and not sent home with nothing for after care pain relief, I would have likely never been an addict and had to self medicate and seek my own treatment.
Now, the thing is, I would get clean prior to walking into a PM clinic as well as taper my methadone to a dose low enough to be switched over to the other opioids that I know to completely decimate my pain compared to the half assed pain relief methadone provides or the placebo effect buprenorphine has upon my pain. They both are rather insufficient for my extent of pain.
I would jump through all the hoops and do everything needed until they figured out an managed my pain. I've been through a long list of non-narcotic options and the only thing that's ever touched my pain was full agonist opioids aside from methadone. It seems healthcare wants me to rather suffer instead of actually having my quality of life and relief from pain. Im tired of being bed ridden in pain even on a high dose of methadone, it's terribly obvious due to my continued use on methadone that I do not get enough pain relief from the methadone alone. The only time I use otherwise is when the first line of defense being marijuana doesn't quite work then I have to resort to illicit street opioids to do the work methadone isn't really doing whatsoever.
Not treating me even though I'm ready to do all the right things and jump through all the hoops is bullshit. It's not any different than not treating someone for their ethnicity. They cannot change their ethnicity the same way I cannot change my past, but I can dictate how my future goes except for having adequate pain relief. It seems doctors who are not me and do not feel my pain have all the authority to dictate someone else's pain, that they do not feel, is not severe enough to warrant opioid narcotics.
Im not drug seeking. I dont want to get high. I haven't been able to get high in 5 years or so since my wreck which essentially made me bed ridden and disabled me. There is no high worth forfeiting my ability to obtain adequate healthcare. I want the lowest dose possible to be able to manage my pain, you don't hear addicts asking for the lowest dose possible let alone anything about pain. I also can't tell doctors what medications have worked the best and what medication do not work for shit otherwise I get labeled as drug seeking.
Id like to prove myself and show that I am no longer a liability, but no one will ever give me that chance it seems. To never give me that chance is unethical, inhumane and honestly bullshit healthcare. No patient is undeserving of adequate pain relief except for me apparently. I know there is greater extents of pain relief available but I'm forbidden from them and stuck with a life of pain. If doctors are unethical enough to leave me in pain the rest of my life, will they atleast be unethical enough to euthanize me since I'm tired of this life of being bed ridden and immense pain. Could they atleart do me that favor? Anyways, if I sign a DNR, it's only me and my doctor that need to sign it, no one else correct?
0 nhận xét:
Đăng nhận xét