TW: Suicidal ideation
When I was 17 I used to play with OTC med doses, just enough to knock me out and let me sleep away some of the depression I faced.
Once, it got too much and I took a few too many. It was a mix of paracetamols, panadols, sleeping tablets and maybe a few other OTC painkillers. In total I remember them adding up to 25-30 tablets.
I remember feeling dazey after it, I had dinner with my family, and went to bed around 8pm. My sleep would have been very deep, when I woke up at 7am the next morning, I was disorientated and thought that days had past, and that it was still evening. Needless to say I spent the morning vomiting.
My family knew what happened, but due to the heavy stigma of mental health and the childcare system (I was under 18 so the fear was that social services would be involved), they convinced me it wasn't a good move to go to a hospital. Instead, I had a lot of water and flushed it all out.
I had a similar incident 3 years after, which involved a lower number of pills. I don't remember vomitting it all out that time (I'm naturally not very prone to vomitting, unless intoxicated), but just heavily nauseous.
I think about these often. Would it have had any lasting impacts, that I might see later on? Was it even a high dose, if I got by without urgent care? In my adulthood I have been physically healthy.
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